Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
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I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
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I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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