Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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