capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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