i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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