you guys were way drunker than both of me
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
