walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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