i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
