Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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