there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize