He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.