Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.