pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
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Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
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Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly