Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up