i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?