I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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