i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
