She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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