Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
