so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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