She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
