You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
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She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
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He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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