I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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