Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
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Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
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Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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