Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
