please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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