i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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