the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
