i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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