Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize