The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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