windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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