the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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