Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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