Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just pynch a tree in the face
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
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smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
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