how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My life is pants optional.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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