GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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