I want to stick my p in your. b.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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