Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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