Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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