I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
