Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize