Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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