Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
