He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize