Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Oh god it's open bar.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
