I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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