I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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