I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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