Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
