woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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