i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
