My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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