I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
