Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
