It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
