thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
