She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
