am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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