she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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