Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
you never un-have a 4some
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize