never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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