but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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