it was like his penis was on wheels.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
