I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
