xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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