Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
