Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize