He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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